Cary Hartwell Cocke, III, devoted husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle — and resident of Asheville, NC, — died peacefully, surrounded by family, on May 5, 2025.
Cary was born to Mary Edmunds “Baby Doll” and Cary Cocke, Jr. in Clarksdale, Miss., on Nov. 4, 1941.
Cary developed a love of nature and all of God’s creatures — he was known to wrestle alligators in his past — while spending his early years on a farm in Jonestown, Miss., before moving to Clarksdale, where he attended Clarksdale High School, maintained close friendships, and graduated in 1960. He was voted Mr. Clarksdale High School.
Cary was a proud graduate of the University of Mississippi where he was a member of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity and backup singer for The Moneymakers, and always reminisced about his college days with his buddies.
Cary’s wife, best friend, and co-adventurer of 34 years, Pamela “Pam" Stevens Cocke, was the love of his life. He passed away less than a day after his beloved Pam and had expressed that he was ready to meet his Maker.
Family and family history were something Cary cherished deeply. Spending time with his daughter, Adaire, son-in-law, Rob, and stepdaughters Missy, Marne and Meg, and all of his grandchildren is what really filled his cup. When he married Pam, he was thrilled that she came as a bundle, with his young stepdaughter, Meg, whom he considered his daughter. Nothing could prevent him from joining in family gatherings in Virginia with extended family.
Being a father was one of his greatest accomplishments.
Throughout his life, Cary was a cotton farmer, small business owner and manager and an avid collector. We remember Cary enjoying fishing and hunting, baking sourdough bread, relocating animals from Pam’s garden, and watching Ole Miss sports.
Cary lived life positively and joyfully. He had a generous spirit and got great joy from cooking, sharing his food with others, listening to blues and country music, and most of all, simply helping others laugh or smile to lighten their load.
He developed a sweet relationship with a child, Collette, who was undergoing cancer treatment in Asheville, and provided love and support to her during her illness up through her death. Mimicking Donald Duck at the sight of a young child, which would instantly snap a crying toddler out of their meltdown, was something he had perfected. He was a social person who never met a stranger. Cary told jokes up until the day before his death.
Cary is survived by his daughter Adaire Cocke Plesnarski (Rob), son Cary Cocke IV, stepdaughters Melissa “Missy” Meredith Owen (David), Marne Meredith (Andy), Mary Grayce “Meg” Powell (Davis), grandchildren Clara and Sykes Plesnarski, Jack and Meredith Owen, Jacob and Sadie Meredith-Andrews, Graham and Anna Powell; brothers Charles Cocke (Betsy) and John Cocke (Robin); a host of nephews and cousins; and friends too numerous and far-flung to mention. He was preceded in death by his mother, Mary Edmunds “Baby Doll” Peacock Cocke Walker Eustis; father, Cary Hartwell Cocke, Jr.; sister, Mary Edmunds “May” Cocke Burns; and brother, William “Will” Richards Cocke.
A celebration of Cary's and Pam’s lives is scheduled for June in Clarksdale. Their ashes will be interred in Fluvanna County, Virginia, near Cary’s ancestral home, in a private ceremony.
Memorial donations may be made to the Stone and Holt Weeks Foundation (https://www.stoneandholtweeksfoundation.org) or the Community Foundation of Northwest Mississippi (https://cfnm.org).
