This is the third part of a three-part series on a response Tom Johnson gave to a young woman about to be married seeking marriage advice. (Tom Johnson was married for 57 years before losing his wife recently.)
PAY YOURSELF FIRST!
I would be remiss to offer any advice for crafting a happy, loving marriage without mentioning money. Financial security is paramount to a good marriage. If you are living paycheck to paycheck there will be a significant strain on your relationship. Figure out the best way to make sure that you are putting away some money each month. In a word - SAVE!!! Whether you are planning to get married or have been married for some time, develop a plan to begin putting money away. Early in your marriage the last thing you all are thinking about is retirement, but you need to start saving now so you will never have to worry about day-to-day expenses, raising children, college educations and eventually…retirement.
• You should have an “emergency fund” of at least six months of your combined pay.
• Next up: children’s education fund. Contributing monthly to a 529 college plan will ensure you have funds to get the kids through school.
• After that, save for retirement.
Take full advantage of any matching retirement plan first. After that, consider a Roth IRA, which currently allows a married couple to contribute up to $7,000 per person a year into a tax-free retirement account. These limits generally increase annually and when withdrawn after age 59 ½ are tax free. This is a huge advantage.
ONE LAST TIP:
The Marriage for Life tips over the past few weeks were written when my wife Cathy was still alive. These were tips that we learned over 57 years of marriage, and they worked for us. Her recent death has given me a whole new perspective on life. I think that most married couples at some point, discuss what the other would do in the event of their death. I remember both of us saying that it would be devastating, but I had no idea how devastating it really is. My life now is totally different, and I feel that half of me is gone forever. We were a pair for so many years and it is tremendously difficult to wake up every day without her.
I think that we did a good job of loving and taking care of each other, but I can tell you that I never fully appreciated everything she did for our family and for me. Now that I am cleaning the house, doing laundry, making dinner (a work in progress), taking care of the plants, flowers, and gardens, and the list goes on, I finally understand what her daily life looked like. And so, I am deeply sorry that I didn’t give her more credit for all the things she did in our marriage. Sure, I would thank her occasionally, but I simply didn’t know or appreciate the time and effort it took to do all those tasks.
So, my advice is: take a good look at all the things that your spouse does to support the family and each other. Don’t gloss over them and take them for granted. If Cathy was back with me, I wouldn’t let a day go by without telling her that I love her and without giving her a big bear hug in appreciation. Take it from me, you never know what life has in store for you. Live each day like it’s your last.
Tom Johnson is a Northsider.
