Dads, you know the Father’s Day drill: You get a call from your kids, maybe they carry you out to lunch, hopefully you go to church, or they drop by the house and then the day is over.
Most dads are not real good with the mushy stuff.
Gifts are really not part of the Father’s Day celebration.
I’ve got good memories of my Father. He loved my mother all his life. He could be found at 132 Jefferson Street in West Point, Mississippi. He paid the bills, fed three boys, fixed our cars with incredibly strong hands and helped us through college.
Things were not perfect. I’ve always felt boys push against dad and girls push against momma. It’s that Alpha Male thing. Most boys wise up, move out and become men, forming their own pack or family, and live their lives as they were raised.
Sad Dads
Almost one-in-three dads in Mississippi will not see or hear from their kids on Father’s Day.
That stark statistic comes from Mixbook and the digital data firm Cherry Digital.
Mixbook conducted a survey of 3,000 fathers to understand why many will not be able to spend a moment on Father's Day 2024 with their children.
Divorce is a key factor, as families often form new relationships with new men. Mom traditionally keeps the kids and the biological father drifts off into the background. The good news is adult children often reach back out to dad once they understand the factors that prompted the split.
Another factor is dads – maybe I should just say fathers – who are the biological DNA donor, but never marry the woman, never live in the home, never help raise the child and never own up to their responsibility.
I was part of a conversation this week in Clarksdale where a man proudly told another man he was the father of 10 children. The room got quiet as the men at the table pondered that statement. One of them said, “And how many of those live in your house?” To which he replied most of them are grown.
I sort of got the feeling he won’t be getting 10 phone calls on Sunday.
A Father’s Job
I believe a father’s job boils down to three major responsibilities: Provide, Protect and Prophesy.
Providing for my family has been one of the joys of my life. Carrying my family on vacation, giving them gifts on their birthday and Christmas, putting a roof over their head and putting groceries on the table makes me feel like a real man.
Protecting them may seem simple, but it also includes watching what they do, who their friends are, how they are doing in school and steering them away from things that have negative consequences. This job can be tough and it is often the least appreciated.
Prophecy can be the easiest part. Men should be the spiritual leader of their house, but this also is broader than that. Imparting dad’s wisdom about finances, education, life choices and girls does sink in if it’s offered with a smile, compassion and given at just the right point in their lives.
My men
Sara and I have raised four grown men and I will be the first to say I will not see all of my “boys” on Father’s Day. I’ve got two who live in Texas, one who lives in Virginia and Daniel, who lives with us and always will.
Daniel is my special-needs child. He’s 27, but about 6-years-old mentally. Six-years-old is not a bad age for a boy. He has a little job and will proudly carry me out to eat on Sunday – And pay for it! Yes, some days he is more of a man than a boy.
I will get phone calls from the others. We’ll chat about the weather, our jobs and maybe what happened this week.
The conversation will wind down quickly and probably be less than 10-minutes. They will say they love me as they say good-bye.
I hope there are fathers and children out there who have the courage and heart to pick up the phone and make that call on Father’s Day.
And then we can happily go to sleep Sunday night and wake up Monday and go to work.
Floyd Ingram is Editor of your Clarksdale Press Register. He is not the perfect Editor or Father, but he proudly works at being better at both every day. Don’t call him at 662-627-2201 – call your dad or child on Father’s Day!
